You can’t cordon off every weird dynamic on the big day, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. But you can be clear you won’t accept trespasses without consequence
I am getting married next year. For various reasons, including his treatment of me and my siblings, I do not want my father at my wedding. If he is there he will ruin the day by shouting at me for some perceived transgression. He holds grudges like no one else I’ve ever met and he doesn’t accept who I am. He refuses to acknowledge I am disabled and thinks I’m making it all up for attention. He has not met my fiance and I have no intention of introducing them.
The difficulty is that my mother and brother live with him. I’m very close to my brother and I desperately want both of them to attend. I worry my father will either invite himself or create such a row that neither feels able to come. They both know I’m getting married but my father does not. I have no idea what I can do to make sure my wedding isn’t ruined.
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